I named my blog Blessed and Bewildered as the name, in essence, mirrors my emotional state. I know that I am incredibly blessed yet I am often bewildered at my reactions to life in general and adversity in particular.
My greatest blessing of all.... I am blessed to be able to call myself a child of God, having been adopted into His family by His grace and mercy. Why do I run and hide when I am hurting is at the top of my bewildering question list. I am like an ostrich with my head in the sand (I like the analogy, even though this isn't actually a characteristic of an ostrich). Trying to hide from God is the most ridiculous and stupid notion ever. I can’t hide. I know that my life is much healthier and richer when I don’t try. I am blessed when I spend time in His word, learning and growing. It is necessary and edifying for all believers. My hiding just prolongs the period of discouragement and removes me from the source of my comfort. Bewildering!
More importantly, I know that Christ's suffering was beyond imagination and that He endured it for me. I cannot even bring myself to watch Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ because of its realism yet Christ endured all of the mocking, humiliation, and pain for me without complaint. Christ was not defeated and He did not remain in the grave. He is my resurrected savior and as His child I know that I am called to willingly persevere through all forms of adversity (Matthew 16:24). And that adversity is for my own good (Romans 5:3-5). See also Psalm 34:19, Hebrews 10:32-36, 1 Peter 5:10. My heart doesn't always follow what my head knows.
Well, today I stopped hiding (a.k.a. disobeying). To say that God isn’t subtle would be an understatement. I use a Bible app from Just1Word that has a variety of reading plans, Bible versions, and the ability to take notes and sync them across all of my devices. There are also devotionals and topical studies. I have been using it for years and really like it. For my “daily….uh…needs to be daily” readings I have a verse of the day, a short devotional, and then I am working through reading the Bible in a “year….uh….”.
This is today's verse of the day:
And here is the short devotional:
God got right to the point! I'm working on listening to the knowledge that my discipleship at the feet of Christ has planted in my head until my heart is in the right place. I covet your prayers and I would be honored to pray for you if you are struggling as well.